H1N1 Flu

I am pretty sure the whole H1N1 flu thing has only caught on in Iowa as it was Tom Vilsack that wanted everyone to start calling it something other than the swine flu because then people think something is wrong with all the pork in the stores. Anyway, there was a case of H1N1 flu reported here at Notre Dame and I have since contracted it and became the second US death. Yeah, I'm writing to you from beyond the grave and the only reason I am not resting in peace is because I need to spread the word on how dangerous the H1N1 flu is. I didn't get as much press because I wasnt the first (which is crap), but I guess thats how news works. Oh well.

Really, though, I wish this whole swine flu thing would die down. Its just the flu. It poses the same dangers as the flu I managed not to get this winter (and instead, I succumbed to the swine flu...yay). The H1N1 flu thing is getting as hold as the whole ND inviting Obama to speak at graduation. I understand everyone's arguments and where people have their panties in a bunch. Good, academic discussion about it is good - nay, it is welcomed - but when I have crazy activists moving from the vatican to South Bend just so they can hire a biplane to fly around campus with a pro-life banner 5 hours a day and parade around campus with baby strollers with cabbage patch kids doused in ketchup....really? Please, let's move on...the only way you are going to get it changed is by talking to the administration, not by hauling fake dead babies around campus.

Anyway, enough ranting. Here's what I put on the B2U/WOB blog about the Winona Race...

"Yesterday I threw down in a local 65 mile RR so that I could represent the B2U/WOB shops here in Indiana. After the performance I am positive people will be making the trip to Iowa to patronize the shops. Anyway, the field of about 40 guys had some good teams in it - Texas Road House, Alderfer Bergen (the team is stacked with a lot of dudes from my collegiate conference and Indiana University...IU has a wealth of fast dudes), and some guys from the Bissel club team. The field also had some solo guys that had been hauling me around the midwest during the collegiate season. I didn't have high hopes going in, being that I was flying solo, but a guy can't win if he doesn't try.

To spare everyone the gory details, a break went from the field early in the race, and then halfway through the race a chase group, including me, took off from the field. The chase of 10 was powered by the Bissel and Road House teams. We (and by we, I mean them) shut the gap down from 2 minutes to about 30 seconds, and then the cat and mousing/fireworks started to happen. Bissel and Road House ended up getting guys up the road, along with a few crazy strong guys from other teams. That left me to chase the last 5 miles with 6 guys on my wheel. No one would work with me since they had teammates up the road or were "too tired", and I didn't want to sit up as it would let a lot of guys get back into the race, potentially pushing me out of the money. So, I put the hammer down and hauled into the finish. Somehow (perhaps by the grace of all performance enhancing drugs I've been injecting?) I rode 5 of the guys off my wheel before the finished. That left one Road House guy on my wheel that routinely houses me at collegiate races. I opened up my sprint late since it seemed he wasn't going to come around until I went. The powersticks almost came through, as I was edged out by only half a wheel (when I was expecting to get absolutely wasted) for 8th place.

All things considered, I'll take an 8th place. It felt really good, especially riding everyone off my wheel the last five miles. It made me feel like I was good or something. Next up Joe Martin...woo hoo!"

PS I really didnt die from the H1N1 flu.....

Last tale of pain, ciff notes style, and some other stuff

See this? This is me dishing out the pain on "the snake." Mike Moritz was kind enough to catch me ripping up the hill (I mean, its kind of hard to miss me, Im huge and obeeeeese). Seeing good 'ole Bryan in the picture means that I must've worked my way up to the front, which I guess is quite the task considering I started in the last row...87th position or some crap like that. I continued my assualt up the course and eventually made my way up to the very, very front. I rode almost half the race in either first, second, or third position. It was great - I could feel the snake alley victory within my chubby fingers. I could go with the skinny dudes up the hill, and then with gravity on my side, I could pull away on the downhill. I had the plan, the last lap I was just going to keep contact up the hill, and once we were on pavement again, I was going to let the fat take over and ride off into the throngs of people for my biggest victory yet. Right before the penultimate time up the snake, though, fate threw a large stick into my wheels. The stick didn't break any spokes, though, it gave me a flat tire. Damn. So, I'm standing at the bottom of the hill yelling for a wheel, anything, as the 2 leaders ride way from me. Im screeeaaaming for a wheel, eyeing the dude with zipps next to me, eyeing the open pro to the left of him, anything! Then, out of no where, Nick comes running with his bike! "Take my bike dude" he yelled. I told him to switch the wheels (since I was afraid i was going to trash it on a downhill...i know, im so lammmee). After a super quick wheel change (the whole thing mightve taken 30 seconds) im back and riding. By this point, though, I had dropped to maybe 8th or 9th position. I pick up Bryan on my next lap and I ride in after he blows by me in the sprint. 7th or 8th...whatever I got there, totally not bad, at all. But soooooooo close to awesomeness.....It just all came spiraling downward so fast...and then I cried, a lot. Ok, no I didn't, but you couldn't blame me if i did, could you?

Anyway, I've been crazy busy the past two months with riding and working and schooling and everything. Hit up a lot of collegiate races - I would've thrown down some race reports if anything interesting happened, but the only interesting this is that I got dropped from every road race and I was off the front of every crit for about 15 minutes in a very promising move, only to get reeled in at the end and place somewhere in the back. The college races were tough this year, 40-60 guys every race, super fast, and little recovery. It was balls to the wall for almost the entire race. There were some good dudes in those races, and while it sucks to get dropped, it can only help racing against the quality of people I raced with this spring. It can only make a guy better. I was probably more excited to watch Jenn race and do well (she's this close to getting a win, I can feel it), and watch Nate and a few of the other guys on the team get better throughout the season.

Im stoked for Iowa City this weekend. I'll be rocking the 1/2 race, so hopefully some good things will come of that. I'll be rocking a new team, which I'm super stoked about. I can't wait to race with all the guys from B2u/WOB - we look sweet, which is by far the most important thing, and we should be putting up some W's this year. Maybe Ill post something afterwards...you know, sooner than two months after this post.

Tales of Pain - Continued

So, fast forward a year from where we left off. We were no longer in Kansas (right Toto?) and instead, we found ourselves in a place that does not suit us flatlandish Midwesterners - Ft. Collins, Colorado. There were real, legit climbs in the vicinity. We had to go up a few, and while to me they were real, hardcore climbs, to climbers they were just mole hills. I'm such a pansy. The road race went fine. As always, I missed the split. It was more of a who could climb and who couldn't. I popped about 100 meters too early, right before the end of a gradual two mile climb without much of decent afterwards. I never caught back on - it was hardcore lame, I was probably the 2nd to last guy to get popped from the lead group. I brought it home in the laughing group, except none of us were laughing as there was a huge crash on the decent back into town. Mike (R2G) was in that crash, and I honestly thought he might have died. He looked dead as I rode by and as it turns out, he just had some hardcore road rash. When he was on the road, though, he just decided that it would be cool to take a nap while the EMT's tended to everyone else, specifically Sean Noonan who was really, really messed up.

While that all really sucked, the heartbreak comes the next day at the nationals crit in downtown Ft. Collins. We weren't too far away from the New Belgium Brewery - I still kick myself in the ass for not stopping by. Anyway, after a solid performance by Jenn in her race (an awesome 8th place at nationals...I have no doubt in my mind that she had the sprint to win the race, just had some crappy positioning coming in...8th aint bad though), I took the line with Mike, who was a badass and raced after a hardcore crash. He ended up crashing on the very last corner of the race because some dude ran into him and overlapped handlebars. He walked his dead cannondale synapse over the line. I was having a good race from the get go. I had some left in the tank from the day before and the powersticks were jumpy. I was a part of a few early moves that got reeled in. Of course, the move I wasn't in was the one that was going to stick. It was just really weird, though, as people kept leaving the peleton to make it up to the break. At first it was 5, then 6, then 7, then 8. After a lap or two of that, I was like screw this, Im going because no one is going to chase me. I went, and no one chased me. I chased for a lap full gas and was just about to make contact onto the back of the group. I knew this was the group that would take the win, and I was getting gassed trying to catch them. I took a few risks around some corners to make up time and it was paying off. Then, this one corner - well, it sucked. The sidewalk melted into the road and the road narrowed some. I took it going 30-some and hit the little bump from the sidewalk. It threw off my line and before I knew it, I had to bunny hop the curb and then a pile of 5 bikes. Having cleared BOTH and still being on two wheels, I slipped and ate it in the grass. I got back in the race with the pack but could only manage to yo-yo off the back. I think I bounced my head pretty hard when I hit the deck. Of course, the group that I almost made it up to sprinted it out for the win (&$%#) and I managed to flat on the last lap, not finishing.

Yay Nationals!!

So, I have one more tale that makes me want to punch myself in the face. Tune in, well, sometime and Ill throw down and let you know. Maybe this is entertaining? No? Fine, well, this is probably entertaining....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7IESL-R6WE

it's the band of Jason Ellis - a skater and a dude that has a radio program on satellite radio...if you act like a 12 year old like I do (only if you ACT like 12 year olds, not date them) youll probably find him funny

My Career...In a nutshell

So, as the season creeps ever closer, I started talking about goals and races past with my super hot way better bike racer than me girlfriend. Jenn succeeded in reminding me about how painful my results at big races have been. Yeah, I have had some good results and I have had some good results in some big races, but lets take another trip down memory lane and look at some of these heartbreaks...perhaps youll be able to read the emotion as my heart break again while I write these devastating tales....I'll hit them up one by one over the next couple of days so everyone has a reason to keep checking in. First up is Collegiate Nationals 2007. This is the first really big race that I was hardcore gunning for. The best collegiate bike racers in the nation were there, and I was amongst them, even though I was in the lowly small school division. Anyway, major flooding in Kansas caused our race to be rerouted onto 1.5 mile of gravel which worked out well in our favor because we had been used to riding gravel. We had a road race earlier in the season with some gravel, and we just rode our crappy bikes on gravel for fun. The first 29 mile loop was fine. Sure, it sounded like a warzone with all the tubies popping, but I made it through fine. The 2nd time through I wasn't so lucky. Above is a picture of how unlucky I was (It was on the home page of Velonews...sweet, Graham Watson took a picture of me!). The guy in the read circle? Yeah, thats me attempting to put my head underground after I ran over a pile of people behind me. It was awesome. I ended up getting up and regaining contact with the peleton before the next gravel section, which was pleased with. There was a big hill right before the gravel section and I followed an attack going up the hill only to look back and see that the race had been blown apart. I was so stoked. We hit the gravel section and I was maybe 300 or 400 yards behind the lead group of 6 with my Maddog and R2G (Matt and Mike, my teammates) and some other randos on my wheel. I threw down to get them up to the group and I got them up there with only a little ways left to go on the gravel. This was it, this was the move. I was for sure going to be in the top 15 in the nation. I had me sweet euroburns and was strong as hell, even after wrecking once before. Check out the dirt still on my jersey, check out the extra bottle in my jersey for domestique duties. This is as e were making contact, miliseconds before some dude blew a tire and skidded right in front of me. POWWWW!!! That was it, game over. That was the day the De Rosa sustained her life ending injury. That was the day I trashed a wheel. That was the day a dream was crushed. Maddog ended up getting 8th, and Mike was off the front of the group for 8 or 9 miles. He even got to drop back to the car to get a coke. So euro. Me? It looked like a bear mauled and when a USCF official asked me what happend, I told her "What do you think happened? You rerouted 150 amatuer ROAD cyclists onto 1.5 miles of gravel when most have never seen a gravel road before. You then graded it to make sure there were no good lines through it, and then everyone with super thin racing tubies and no bike handling abilities had to ride through it. How great of an idea was that lady?"

Actually, I may not have told her that...I probably just thought it, but I gave her a dirty look....fo sho.

Check in again to hear another tale of hearbreak. Yay!

Collegiate race season starts in almost a week! yay for 8 hour drive to kentucky!

So, I failed miserably

The calorie attempt did not go to plan. I put on my spandex and went to Rolfs to hit up the precor. I brought the gigabeat and my "battered and fried stick of butter energy bars" that pound on these record attempts. The first 30 minutes went according to plan and I was on pace, but after that It all went downhill. I still burned 1650 calories, but nowhere near the 2100 that is the record. It was wicked hard, too, I felt like I wanted to die afterwards. Perhaps I was on a crazy machine last time? Perhaps in the pat 3 years I've gotten weaker? Perhaps the recalibrated the machines? Who knows? What I do know is that I need to stop playing on my computer and do some work. I think once it gets cold out again Ill go at 'er again.

Yeah, this is a lame update, but I felt bad that it has been almost 3 months since Ive updated this piece...ill do a better job again soon

Press Release from Notre Dame Cycling

Campbell to attempt hour calorie record!!

Notre Dame cyclist Tim Campbell is planning an attempt at the hour calorie record for the Precor exercise bikes at Rolfs Fitness Center at the University of Notre Dame. "Just like how some tracks are faster than others, some bikes burn more calories than others...the Precor's at ND just seem to do the trick," Campbell said. Campbell is the current record holder at 2,136 calories and has held the record for 3 years now. "I remember my freshman year when I had a run of attempts at it. I broke 2,000 once on my own, but just barely. It was like 2010 or something like that. The record at the time was 2055. Either SR3K or R2G (SuperRaver 3000 and Rave to the Grave) had the record. We then all had a go at it, Maddog, Mike, and myself had a go. We all broke 2,000 calories, but I somehow rocked the 2,136. It was unreal." Campbell says that his new found zest for the record comes on the verge of him stepping on the scale to check his weight. "Yeah, I knew I was fat, thats not new. I'm just too fat right now." He hopes to generate some interest amongst the team in some record attempts so that he may be surrounded by like minded individuals. He has also started force feeding himself butter on rides so that he may replenish calories quick enough to keep them burning...stay tuned for the attempts on the record!

Sucks to be a Fetus

I remember now...

Sorry if I really offend someone, but, today they had the million dead baby demonstration on the quad. The right to life people put out more little white crosses than I want count and then say something like this is how many babies die during a ND football game. Then theres a ton of signs that talk about how awful this is and bla bla bla bla bla. Now, I'm not saying I disagree with these folks, but I do hate how its all jammed down my throat. I understand that this is a catholic university and we need to follow the catholic teachings, but shouldnt the university part allow for opposing views? I thought about it, but even at 12:15 at night there are people up guarding the baby graves....I really just wanted to make a giant sign that said "sucks to be a fetus" and put it in the middle of their demonstration, it would at least give people something to talk about in the editorials of the observer for a few weeks...

another funny story. Im walking out of Jenns dorm and I see a cab roll up. It is none other than the famed Jesus cab (guy talks with you about God and the bible as youre on your way to a party or the airport) with all his Jesus stuff magneted on his van. He gives a quality ride with some quality conversation, it is almost better than church. Anyway, out rolls some girls of very low moral integrity....like half the football team and most the hockey team lack of moral integrity....I laughed

Obviously Ano

There I was sitting in the dining hall by myself because Jenn had to go do something more important than me. I was at a table by myself because I was trying to just get in and get out real quick like when these two "girls" sat down to my left. One only had a sandwich and the other had nothing. The one that had nothing was a twig of an asian "girl" (not that it matters what race she was, I just wanted to give an idea...ya know?). There was nothing to this "girl", she was obviously ano. First off, who the hell goes to the dining hall just to watch people eat? I mean, maybe kudos for her for just being ano. She could be bulemic and have to eat, then puke all the time. At least she has the self control to go to the dining hall and enjoy watching people eat. She probably would've made a good wrestler in that respect since she just enjoys watching someone eat. Secondly, I had a train of thought that went a little like this... "ya know, there are plus sized clothing lines, what about skinny size clothing lines. They could have catchy names, kind of like Obviously Ano." The labels on the jeans could just have pictures of food on them, they'd sell like hotcakes (however well they sell).

Anyway, I had something else I wanted to write about, but I can't really remember it right now. So, I'll go back a little bit to state crit time. I finally loaded all my pictures on to my pooter and I managed to clip this out of a video. See this? This is Nick throwing down a meaaaaan bike stab, like hardcore. Clearly he edged this dude out for 4th right? I just looked at the results and they gave him 5th. This indiscretion should not stand, man. Thats a whole $10 Nick didnt get in prize money and 2 upgrade points. Good thing Im not really caring much about anything right now, otherwise I'd raise hell....okay, not really. But, if anything, isnt that a meannnn bike stab? Look at the form! Look at the intensity! Look how lame his opponent looks! Now, doesnt that guy wish he wouldve done a bike stab? At the very least he wouldve looked cooler...Im so glad Nick and I practice that sort of thing

Speaking of some state crit stuff, check out this video of the Cat 4 finish and the Cat 3 finish




Did you hear that? No, I wasn't talking about me talking to Jenn in a funny voice (you know, the girlfriend voice...). Turn it up and listen to Andrew's gutteral scream as he wins. Kind of scarry. The kid next to me crapped his diaper after he yelled, I heard it and then smelled it. Even scarrier. Anyway, I guess Im going to be a good student now...Boo.

Morons that yell things from cars

So, I usually just get a bit peeved when people yell things from the car. Lately, on the proform ride on Thursday people have been getting awfully mad at us for no real reason. One lady obnoxiously yelled "sidewalk! sidewalk! sidewalk! sidewalk!!!" as she cut it way to close comfort with on coming traffic. I would really like to try and see her drive her Geo Metro down a sidewalk, or even a bike path, going 25 mph and not maim anyone. She'd be like "no way! no way that could happen! are you crazy?!?" My response? "No, Im not crazy, but you are you stupid (derogatory word referring to females here, doesnt really matter which one...I like them all)." A week later another lady in a ford taurus drove by and she drove up really close to us, then swerved to the side and slammed on it to pass us. She honked and yelled as she screeched by us, and then swerved immediately back in front of us. The waste of human flesh that was her then proceeded to drive partly off the road on the shoulder, and then over corrected herself to put her partly over the yellow line, much to the dismay of an approaching car. Really? How do people like that get their license? How do they think that they are good drivers (because everyone swears they are the best driver in the world)? How do people like that not accidentally kill themselves before they get old enough to harrass cyclists? Anyway, we all have our stories and I could go on forever on what Joe Blow yelled/did as he was passing me in his car on his way to blow joe, as I am sure you could, too.

The thing that someone yelled at us today was actually funny, and it was somewhat of a complex sentence!. It wasn't funny like how old ladies sometimes yell "Screw you!" or give you the finger. That doesn't require thought or mastery of the english language. It requires you to be breathing and kind of upset. What this guy said required not only breathing, but a brain, vocal cords, and at least a weak thought process. I was impressed. It went down like this:

Terry, Kiefer, Josh, Jenn, and I were standing in the lawn of a high school changing a tire. We saw this sweet lilac colored van with a smashed in front rolling our way. Then, this neanderthal of a man stuck his head out of the window. He was sporting the cue ball, with a cut off black t-shirt and a few tatts - he looked like a badass. As he was passing us, he yelled (get ready) "I hope you ride your bike as well as you ride dick!" We all looked at each other, and then burst out laughing. I first took it as he thought we were all gay, like there is something wrong with that. I was impressed because in order to yell something like that, you would have to relate being gay with the enjoyment of sodomy. Thats a huge jump in the brain of a neanderthal. Secondly, though, and less impressively, I guess he could've been hitting on jenn. I kind of doubt, though, that he even noticed she was a girl. Not saying that my super hot/fast girlfriend looks like a guy, but he wouldve had to been close to notice the pony tail and I really dont think he wouldve noticed. I think he wouldve just seen the lycra, and assumed we were all huuuuge flamers and thus the comment.

Regardless, while your humor might have gone over the heads of most, it wasn't lost on me Big Fella.

Poles, Poop, and Protostomes

So, I have an entomology test tomorrow. I should be studying for it because I unfortunately found out on the first day of class when I got the syllabus that insect diversity only makes up about 3 weeks of 12. Crap. If I didn't already know it, I would not have minded learning it making it easy. Insect embryonic development? The hormones and substances that go into it? I don't really care all that much...so, here I am.

It has been an eventful first coupla weeks of school. I managed to trash the dirt cheap the second day I was here. Long story short I hit a pole the school put in the middle of my favorite sidewalk over the summer. A group of people were standing in front of it and as I got close to them they parted in the middle to reveal a pole. I think I smacked the thing going like 10, but I managed to somehow break the entire derailluer hanger off and crack the frame where it attaches. Bad ass. What an expensive, low speed accident. My back still hurts. It is the worst how you are barely hurt when you eat it going 30 round a corner and your bike is somehow fine, but at 10 mph your bike gets trashed. It doesn't seem like it should work like that. Im borrowing a friends bike for a while. One Terry Martin, probably the sweetest professor you will ever meet in your life, is letting me roll an old Trek OCLV Trek 5200 with some 9 speed shimano on it. Its old, but, better than no bike. Its actually a pretty decent ride, I like it a lot, it just looks kind of ghetto...but I'm still crushin the souls of the weak and making the hearts of women quail, hearts of men quail, hearts of my opponents quail, andhearts of quail quail, when I ride by. This is what is important by my standards, and the Jan would concur.

I also had a very dude like situation where the University literally peed on my rug. Just like how one Jeffery Lebowski, The Dude, wanted his rug back after some china man peed on his rug...DJ Sunshine wanted his rug back after Notre Dame micturated upon my rug. Was ND going to give it to the DJ? No, not without some bitching and moaning.

I'll continute the chronicle of the carpet pissers later, but, I must now retire for the evening so that I can own my bug test in the morning. On a training and actual biking related note, things have been going well...aside from crashing into a pole I spose...but you know me, I loooove the pole