Morons that yell things from cars

So, I usually just get a bit peeved when people yell things from the car. Lately, on the proform ride on Thursday people have been getting awfully mad at us for no real reason. One lady obnoxiously yelled "sidewalk! sidewalk! sidewalk! sidewalk!!!" as she cut it way to close comfort with on coming traffic. I would really like to try and see her drive her Geo Metro down a sidewalk, or even a bike path, going 25 mph and not maim anyone. She'd be like "no way! no way that could happen! are you crazy?!?" My response? "No, Im not crazy, but you are you stupid (derogatory word referring to females here, doesnt really matter which one...I like them all)." A week later another lady in a ford taurus drove by and she drove up really close to us, then swerved to the side and slammed on it to pass us. She honked and yelled as she screeched by us, and then swerved immediately back in front of us. The waste of human flesh that was her then proceeded to drive partly off the road on the shoulder, and then over corrected herself to put her partly over the yellow line, much to the dismay of an approaching car. Really? How do people like that get their license? How do they think that they are good drivers (because everyone swears they are the best driver in the world)? How do people like that not accidentally kill themselves before they get old enough to harrass cyclists? Anyway, we all have our stories and I could go on forever on what Joe Blow yelled/did as he was passing me in his car on his way to blow joe, as I am sure you could, too.

The thing that someone yelled at us today was actually funny, and it was somewhat of a complex sentence!. It wasn't funny like how old ladies sometimes yell "Screw you!" or give you the finger. That doesn't require thought or mastery of the english language. It requires you to be breathing and kind of upset. What this guy said required not only breathing, but a brain, vocal cords, and at least a weak thought process. I was impressed. It went down like this:

Terry, Kiefer, Josh, Jenn, and I were standing in the lawn of a high school changing a tire. We saw this sweet lilac colored van with a smashed in front rolling our way. Then, this neanderthal of a man stuck his head out of the window. He was sporting the cue ball, with a cut off black t-shirt and a few tatts - he looked like a badass. As he was passing us, he yelled (get ready) "I hope you ride your bike as well as you ride dick!" We all looked at each other, and then burst out laughing. I first took it as he thought we were all gay, like there is something wrong with that. I was impressed because in order to yell something like that, you would have to relate being gay with the enjoyment of sodomy. Thats a huge jump in the brain of a neanderthal. Secondly, though, and less impressively, I guess he could've been hitting on jenn. I kind of doubt, though, that he even noticed she was a girl. Not saying that my super hot/fast girlfriend looks like a guy, but he wouldve had to been close to notice the pony tail and I really dont think he wouldve noticed. I think he wouldve just seen the lycra, and assumed we were all huuuuge flamers and thus the comment.

Regardless, while your humor might have gone over the heads of most, it wasn't lost on me Big Fella.